Being the new person at work is never fun, and even though I’ve been at this place for 6 months I still feel new. I don’t get included in everything and I often get the work no one else wants to do dumped on me. It sucks. I know I need to toughen up and work through it, but that doesn’t take the sting out of feeling like a failure 80 percent of the time because you are doing things you have no idea how to do and no one gives you information - they just expect you to know. It also doesn’t take the sting out of being left out of things after spending 6 months trying to fit it. It’s hard for me. I’m an introvert, and while I prefer to be on my own - it hurts all that much more when I try very hard to put myself out there just to get left out. Honestly, it makes me just want to give up. I’m trying very hard to make my own goals and do work that I can be proud of, even if that work is just work I give myself to stay busy. I know I am better than this, I’m better than the work I’m given, I’m smarter than this job allows me to be right now. I’m trying to hang in there… but these last two weeks have been tough.
Anyway. That’s what’s going on in my life. Enough complaining.